Great Indian Ban Game

A friend sent me this message:

“Banned Porn and Maggi

Basically government is against anything which gives you pleasure in 2 minutes”

This message was forwarded along with a laughing emoji. I laughed too. Shared this message with other friends as well. Then, while I was into a conversation with one of my friends about whether or not India would ban online dating sites too, that it got me into thinking about this whole BAN x,y,z issues of India.

Facebook, all over the world, went colorful with the users setting their display pictures to colorful/rainbow mode, when in June 2015, the U.S.A. legalized Gay marriage. India, too, followed and celebrated. Another set of funny jokes ran the internet in India: “People here are celebrating Gay marriage legalization in U.S.A. but hardly can an Indian boy/girl decide whom and when to marry.”

Indians: Hypocritical?

I don’t understand, at times, the Bills issued and passed in the Indian Parliament. At times, I feel I lack the understanding about the ways of the Indian Judiciary, too. We, certainly, are the people who proudly say: “I am an Indian” as we are proud of our country and our culture. Having said that, how many of us even know and understand our Indian culture? What is the Indian culture? A sex-less culture? Do we mean to say that we are a country of test-tube babies? Haven’t our parents made love to create us? Or is it that that they just kept clean and decided like the very famous and hilarious character of the popular TV show ‘Big Bang Theory’, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, that they wouldn’t engage in coitus, but wouldn’t let the world suffer and so made test-tube babies to give the world the gift of their genes? Why do we have the sex book; yes I prefer calling it so; ‘Kama sutra’, listed in the list of Indian books? Why do we have caves and temple walls down south- south India, carved with images of different sex positions? Why, at all, did our great ancestors make all of these? Isn’t it against our culture? Why do we STILL have them? Couldn’t we demolish it as it is so against our culture? Couldn’t we stop people be visitors to such historic places? Couldn’t we burn all the sex books? Oh sure, we couldn’t! We just let it be. We are Indians, ones who believe in ‘letting it be’ and securing and protecting ‘our heritage’. Sure we couldn’t let any new-age technology copy us! How could we? That’s horrendous!

No porn sites, please!

No kissing in public, please!

No sex, please!

-“If not making it known to others, but, behind doors, can I have sex?”

=“Are you kidding me? We don’t! We are cultured people.”

-“But, I am married to the one you chose for me.”

=“Umm, ok. Now you may. But, don’t let this out. Tell all that your child is the gift of god and that an angel delivered it to you in the hospital. Ok?”

One might question me: what’s with this whole baby making and sex after marriage thing to do with banning porn sites in India? Well, let me tell you the beauty behind banning porn sites or all things sex. We humans are sinned with the carnal needs, shouldn’t we eradicate it so that we can stop having sinful pleasure and in the process stop making babies and enlarge the population? Yes, we should! We mustn’t indulge in any carnal pleasures and should even help others curb it, so that we can protect our culture and live up to the image of cultured and clean people. It might lead to curiosity in people, of knowing and doing it the wrong way and might make them find porn and give themselves pleasure, or might make them desperate and want to do it all the more, and when nothing comes handy, and with no knowledge about the same, might as well grab another human and in sheer desperation, forcefully do it. But, we must not allow anyone commit a sin of having pleasure/fulfilling their carnal needs, so, we must ban anything that is close to having sex/pleasure.

Anything that is to do with physical appetite, or indulging in sexual pleasure, or talking and discussing about carnal needs, is a hush-hush in India. Indian schools don’t encourage sex education. Parents don’t hold hands, hug or kiss in front of their children, but ones who sleep with their children, on the same bed due to lack of space, make love while their kids are asleep, right beside them! We are proud of our culture, where a couple has sex, right next to the child, thinking the child is asleep and wouldn’t get to see or know anything about sex and so we would be successful in protecting our culture. We would win against the battle of allowing anyone to see or know about sex. Unfortunately, we are losing the battle when it comes to rape cases. A boy, out of curiosity rapes a girl and is considered juvenile and set free or not punished the way a rapist should. A girl, in public, is asked about how she was raped. In a way, talking about sexual intercourse in front of those that pass the law that makes us Indians go ‘hush-hush’ about sex. Seems we are more into word-porn than visual-porn. And as the protectors of our great Indian culture say: “this is to be banned as it is not our culture and is staining the sanctity, purity and inviolability of our culture”, so we must pay heed and do the needful.

Legalize sex. Ask for sex permit. But, DON’T seek porn pleasure! Rape issues? Male/female sexual abuse? Well, we will set another time and date in future for its BAN.