Cut the OPTIONS out! PLEASE.

For decades now, we’ve become the fallout generation.
Falling out of jobs, relationships, marriage, career paths, etc.

WHY?

Ever since the colonial times, humans have felt under siege, forced to explain themselves using specific templates, make ideas, beliefs and opinions more tangible, more concrete, more structured, more homogeneous, more historical, more geographical, less psychological, less emotional, to render oneself as the MASTERS of the world.

Result? Rise of ‘options strategies’ Consequence? Rise of a FALLOUT generation.

The fallout of this pressure is the need to locate matters of faith in a particular spot. The timeless thus becomes timebound and the universal becomes particular . What used to once be a matter of faith becomes an egoistical war zone where courts now have to intervene.

What am I talking about? Relationships. Disturbance in this area lends tremors EVERYWHERE else!

With the rise and availability of options people have become fearless to be a fallout. Resulting in loneliness , depression and anxiety.

Everyone wants to be right in a world where adjustment, allowance, accommodation and affection are seen as signs of weakness, even manipulation!

What should be done? Learn to let go. DROP the options.

Because of my Emotional Non-resilience

Here’s to yet another episode of introspection:

Pain- an emotion that is so strong and so alive that it’s not surprising that we understand it to be a part of our reality. Just the mistake I’m making these days. Even while typing out this blog, somewhere, I’m still in the process of learning that pain isn’t my reality, it is a part of life regardless. Sometimes, I wonder if I would have ever been this introspective had it not been for the wedding that was called off? I’m just two weeks away from the date that was to become my wedding day and I cannot but not try to understand the negative impacts of my Emotional Non-resilience. Yes! Possibly, to every negative thought, episode, occurrence, or statement, I could have avoided an emotional reaction. If only I could have been saved the emotional trauma I’m going through currently!

I never knew that pain could be a teacher. The more I learn, the more I feel heart pangs. There’s a difference! This time, I am trying to avoid emotional reactions to the painful thoughts. I’m trying to get mentally immune. I’m trying.

No! I’m not stating that I have attained peace. I’m not claiming the status of a monk for myself. I’m not sure if I know the right path to live through the pain of having lost the man I love. More so, having lost the love of the man I love. I’m not even aware of my brain’s processing during this heartbreak phase. I am of the understanding that the more I would try to overcome this lost-love-phase, the more I’m going to reinforce it.

I recall our initial phase of our courtship period and try to understand the difference created in the last month before our breakup. We were more present in our relationship before the horrific month that could have caused the breakup. We were responding to our thoughts and feelings in real time than we did in April.

Trying to perfect our relationship, we forgot to improve. This could have resulted in adopting an idea about our relationship that could have not been what it was/could be but, it became as it is this, period!, which became fundamentally difficult for him to change while deciding to walk out.

He always spoke about relative truth. When it was the most needed to fight his fears, he took his fears as his reality and made it our truth. Even though he understood the relativity of truth, he succumbed to his fears and took it as a reflection of reality. Me, well, my inability to observe the negativity made me automatically believe his words and actions to be representative of reality.

My emotional non-resilience and (current) weak mental immunity made me succumb to being a victim of my own mind.

-The Jilted Bride