You Don’t Need To Find A Lesson In Your Trauma.

The things we do to distance ourselves from pain. I get it. If we experienced trauma to learn an important lesson, we can regain a sense of control.

“I’m a better person for it.”

“It made me stronger.”

Then there was some purpose to it all.

And maybe since you’ve learnt the lesson, some part of you believes that it protects you from it happening again.

Worse though is when this is the response you get when you tell your story.

“That’s why you shouldn’t have done that.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

Other people don’t get to decide it was a lesson that you needed to learn. It doesn’t make it better or any less painful. Your trauma is valid. You didn’t experience trauma or violence to make you stronger or smarter or any different in anyway. It shouldn’t have happened to you. There is absolutely nothing you did or didn’t do to deserve this. You were hurt. And you are left alone to deal with the fallout.

Maybe you do find meaning or purpose in your experiences. You connect deeply to who you are and to other people. You recognize how we can always find our way back to wholeness even after extreme and senseless violence and pain breaks us into a million pieces.

Maybe now, having experienced this, you are profoundly inspired to push for a different world, a better world. We do learn so much about ourselves in our experiences. But also, know that it shouldn’t have happened.

This was not a lesson you needed to learn.

Cut the OPTIONS out! PLEASE.

For decades now, we’ve become the fallout generation.
Falling out of jobs, relationships, marriage, career paths, etc.

WHY?

Ever since the colonial times, humans have felt under siege, forced to explain themselves using specific templates, make ideas, beliefs and opinions more tangible, more concrete, more structured, more homogeneous, more historical, more geographical, less psychological, less emotional, to render oneself as the MASTERS of the world.

Result? Rise of ‘options strategies’ Consequence? Rise of a FALLOUT generation.

The fallout of this pressure is the need to locate matters of faith in a particular spot. The timeless thus becomes timebound and the universal becomes particular . What used to once be a matter of faith becomes an egoistical war zone where courts now have to intervene.

What am I talking about? Relationships. Disturbance in this area lends tremors EVERYWHERE else!

With the rise and availability of options people have become fearless to be a fallout. Resulting in loneliness , depression and anxiety.

Everyone wants to be right in a world where adjustment, allowance, accommodation and affection are seen as signs of weakness, even manipulation!

What should be done? Learn to let go. DROP the options.

Sort out the DEMONS from your past before BEGINNING.

It’s been a while, you’ve clouded your thoughts with the NEW, brushing aside any disturbing memory that waves a ‘hello!’ in your dreams or moments that seem to be cloaked in the robes you’ve discarded, and you think you are ready for a NEW beginning

That’s what looked radical, right? Then why are you dead at 25 to be buried at 65?

Most people let their dreams die a young death and have a funeral at an old age. They choose to hurriedly move past a heartbreaking event fearing pain and jump to the NEW to fill in their timelines.

Result: failure. I say, “Be a failure NOT a loser.”

Be attentive to the demons from your past for it to not lurk in your present. It is when you put in the effort to sort out these demons that you embark upon a PROMISING new beginning.

Seek professional help. Friends and family are MOSTLY in sync with what you say. So, get an unbiased opinion.

Time heals. Yes. But, if you wait too long, it’ll be a tragedy. If you move on too quickly, it’ll be disastrous. An expert can help you remain mobile and equip you with tools to not just be at peace with your past but even help you sort it out!

DON’T drag ahead/move on. March forth with expectancy.

Wake up Expecting. This is Your day.

Wake up Expecting. This is Your day.

Life is like a suspense thriller movie–the end to which we all want to know but wish not to be told before it’s time. It spoils the fun, doesn’t it? You enjoy the expectancy. To be in the swing of unraveling events and thumping your fists when wrong and kicking your heels with a fist launch in the air when right.

What am I saying? Well, each day, when you wake up, you can expect to get the deal you’ve been working on, the job you’ve interviewed for, meeting the right person, the healing to start….

You might say, ‘Ruchi, but I’m not sure if it could happen. I’ve been suffering for years and don’t see myself cured; I’ve been rejected 30 times; my husband abandoned me;…’

I’d like you to expect anyhow! I’m not asking you to be positive I’m asking you to enhance the quality of your life. Go out there and continue to do the right thing! Expect that today is the day when you would be answered. Today is YOUR DAY!

Uncertainties is Life’s thriller plot for you to enjoy. Try not figuring it out. It’s not always about being positive. Just don’t be tired of doing the right thing. Enhance the quality of your life for it to unfold something worthy.

Your attitude is a change-maker.